October 21, 2009: Roxy's first chemo treatment
A few days before this I had noticed a somewhat large pinkish/red bump on her foot in between her toes. I just thought it was an abcess - no big deal. They just drain those, bandage it up, prescribe some ointment and antibiodics and good to go. I made her an appointment the following day. The vet did a full exam and then told me that the lump on her foot was not an abcess but actually looked like a tumor. She also pointed out that the lymph nodes behind her back legs were larger than normal and she would like to aspirate them and send to the lab for further testing. While I thought we were there for a simple procedure, she warned me I should be prepared for a diagnosis of Lymphoma. The next 2 days were horrible. Everyone told me not to worry, that things would be fine. But I knew they wouldn't be. I knew the vet was right. And on October 21, 2009 I got the call that it was in fact Stage 3 High Grade Lymphoma.
The vet explained several options which included chemo, radiation, steroids, etc and told me to think about what I would like to do. That night the decision was made to start chemo (Madison Wisconsin Protocol) and she received her first dose of Asparginase. And I received a $600 vet bill.
Over the next few weeks she received a chemo injection every week. Alternating between Vincristine, Cyclophosphamide and Adriamycin. She seemed to be tolerating everything really well. Some days after chemo she would seem more lethargic but she always had energy for walks and play time. On November 5, 2009 she was declared in remission. Really!? That fast? The vet said the fact that she responded so quickly was a good sign.
On November 21 we were at the vet again but this time not for chemo treatments. Roxy was constantly coughing and throwing up. She had a slight fever and after chest xrays the vet's diagnosis was kennel cough. We were isolated from all other animals in the vet's office - even had to enter and exit through a separate door.
We continued weekly treatments through January until the protocol called for every other week. Still, Roxy handled the treatments well and loved going to the vet. I know, what dog LOVES to go to the vet?! But they treated her so well there. On days were I had to drop her off early, the technician would let Roxy sleep under the desk in her office. Plus I'm sure she got all kinds of treats.
April 20, 2010 was scheduled to be Roxy's last chemo treatment. The end of the 6 month protocol. I was looking forward to another 6 or more months cancer free with the occasional checkup. Reality kicked in hard when at her follow up appointment the vet said she had come out of remission. The protocol was no longer working. We needed to try something else. My heart sank. My poor dog had just gone through 6 months of having poison pumped into her body. I didn't want to put her through any more. But she was still a happy dog. Still full of energy and full of life. I needed to try whatever the vet had to offer.
They put her on Lomustine which was a monthly pill that she would take as long as her body could handle it. Ok - I can hang with that. On May 28th we went in for another checkup and not only had the Lomustine not helped get her back into remission, but it also raised her liver values. Basically her liver and spleen were both enlarged. She was put on antibiodics and several over the counter antioxidants. The vet said we could try another dose of the Asparginase which is what put her into remission the fist time. I said okay.
The following week I took my mom with me to Roxy's checkup appointment. The vet said that her lymph nodes hadn't shrunk as much as she hoped and at this point there wasn't much they could offer. She prescribed prednisone and suggested I make an appointment at UC Davis to see what they could recommend. I tried to go to work that day, but couldn't concentrate on anything. I left and called UC Davis and made an appointment for the following week.
On June 15, 2010 my mom and I took the day off work and drove to UC Davis. After a 3.5 hour appointment, they gave me the option of a chemo drug we hadn't tried yet. The outlook was still not good. For weekly visits to UC Davis and no guarantee it would work (it actually seemed like they thought it wouldn't work considering what she had been through already) we were looking at maybe 2-3 extra months of life. My decision was made. I couldn't put her through that. I couldn't put myself through that. I decided to keep her on the prednisone until it was time.
That weekend was one to remember. Saturday I drove Roxy and Diesel to Santa Cruz where we met up with Nate and his brothers. Windy day ... but she didn't care. Digging in the sand, playing in the ocean, laying in the sun. Sunday I took her to my dad's house to swim in his pool. She LOVED it. Looking back - I'm so glad we got to enjoy that time together.
A couple days later we went for a walk and she seemed really sluggish which had me worried. But still she showed excitment to go outside and seemed happy. Thursday morning I woke up and found blood dropplets on the carpet. I found her laying on the tile entryway by the front door. She was drooling and panting pretty heavily. The lymph nodes in her neck grew HUGE overnight. I tried to get her to eat - no luck. I tried treats - no luck. I tried ice cream and she turned her head away. I knew it was time to let go. My mom and Sam came over and we all gave Roxy lots of hugs and kisses. I had spent some time before that saying goodbye. Telling her I loved her and that I was sorry I couldn't have done more.
My mom drove to the vet and I rode in the back with Roxy. I asked my mom if she thought Roxy knew what was going to happen. She said yes ... I'm still not sure. We got to the vet and Roxy was excited to see everyone but I could tell she was very sick. Her favorite vet technician came out to see us - Roxy didn't even get up to greet her. It was definitely time.
They set up a room for us with blankets on the floor for Roxy. The vet came in to explain everything. Other people came in to have me sign forms. It's all kind of a blur. They gave us some time to say our goodbyes. There were lots of tears. We let the vet know when we were ready. She came in and we all sat around Roxy on the floor. I sat by her head. As the injections went it, Roxy's head slowly layed down onto my lap. Just like she was going to sleep. It was such a sweet yet incredibly sad moment. I let her lay there for quite some time before we asked the vet to come get her. I didn't want to leave her and I wasn't sure how to live my life without her.
For the past 8 months our lives have revolved around chemo treatements, vet visits, special food, daily and twice daily medications. I woke up Friday morning not knowing what to do with myself.
It's now been a week since she passed away and my heart hurts every day. I miss her so much. Even things I used to yell at her for (like barking at people walking by) - now when I hear people outside I miss that bark. I miss taking her on walks and watching her roll around on the grass like a complete weirdo. I miss waking up in the morning with her head resting on my legs (or on the pillow next to me). I miss coming home from work and her greeting me at the door like she hasn't seen me in weeks. She was an amazing dog and a great friend. I will miss her every day.
Rest in Peace Roxy
September 26, 2004 - June 24, 2010
